And the Healing Begins

It seems that my last post was read by almost everyone in my small town. I had people I didn't really know telling how beautiful and comforting my words were on Sunday. I was both flattered and embarrassed. It's not that I write to be complimented, it's that by writing, I am venting, sharing, and in bad times, healing.

I share these posts because, as someone told me when David's accident happened, maybe God wasn't punishing us, or telling us something, but maybe this happened because there is someone, somewhere who will read about this in the paper and their life will be changed because of it. That is how I feel about writing, if I can touch one person who at some point felt so lost, and if I can bring them hope, then the post was successful. Not to mention, it makes mom feel better to know the money she spent on the journalism degree wasn't all wasted. :-)

So, where do I start today? It's a new day, a new beginning for each of you reading this post. It's been a rough 4 days for my friends and family in Cameron. During the time of mourning for our friend, we were able to celebrate his short time on this Earth.

As Dave and I drove into town on Tuesday night for the visitation, I was blown away as we arrived at the funeral home. Driving up highway 77, cars lined the road, parking in the open fields beside and across the street from the funeral home, and as we walked toward the front door, people stood in line, waiting to get inside. It was a little chilly, but as we stood there with all of our friends that warmth made the cold go away.

The service was one of the most beautiful I have ever attended. Bill did a wonderful job officiating, although I know he too has a broken heart. David was like a son to him too. As we arrived at the church (around 12:30), many of us who stood with Tiffany on Sunday morning, gathered as they brought David to the service. As Christy saw the 6 pallbearers arrive in the big white Circle S van, it was too much for her. She and I held each other as we watched her brother and my brother, stand side-by-side to take our brother to his final resting place.

By 1, the church was packed, the overflow rooms were filling and there were tears flowing. As the service ended and the attendees began filing by, paying their last respects, I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach. Watching 6 young men gather around their friend to tell him goodbye, broke my heart all over again. We watched as the sheriff's department, Texas Highway Patrol, City Police, visiting law enforcement officers, State Game Wardens, EMS, and a Texas Ranger file by. WOW, there were no words. It took over 45 minutes to clear the church - Does that tell you how many lives Little David touched?

Tiffany picked the most beautiful resting spot for David. From his final "home", David has a beautiful view of his wonderful house on the hill in the country. As Dave said, "the way the crow flies, he's probably a mile away."

Yesterday, God cleared the skies, no rain, no clouds - a wonderful sunny day to bid farewell to our friend.

We were gathered at the hall for dinner, and I was sitting there, watching all of the kids run and play and thinking about how those kids will keep everyone going. I watched Trenton and Landen wrestle on the floor and simply asked a friend if he saw Sam and David over there playing? Stealing a line from my favorite movie, Steel Magnolias, "Life goes on..." and it does.

David's life, while short, will live on in his children and the lives of the children he touched. It will also live on in each and every friend he left on this earth to finish the jobs he started. Those men have big shoes to fill. But I also know this - These same friends who are grieving the loss of their "brother" will help Tiffany and those boys through this difficult time. That's what they do.

Now, I've been listening to a song the entire time I've written this today - Trace Adkins - The Rest of Mine... It simple starts "There's no guaranty that we'll see tomorrow, Heaven only knows, how long we have. So there's no way I'll ever for one second let you wonder, just how long my love for you will last - til my last breath, til I'm called on high, til the angels come and I see the light, to the very end, til I give in, to the last beat of my heart - though I can't swear that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I swear I'll love you for the rest of mine."

Rest in Peace our Friend, for we know there will be happy times again in Cameron. My prayer today is that God watch over all of David's family and friends and give them comfort in this time of tragedy. Always remember, Life goes on....

Shelly

Small Town Heart Break

Some people say that growing up in a small town is no fun because everyone knows your business. They've never lived in the town.

Growing up in a small town is something that cannot be explained. You leave that town with more "brothers" and "sisters" than you know what to do with.

Dave and I went to Cameron this weekend to celebrate the birthdays of 2 close friends. This morning when the phone at mom's rang at 5 a.m., there was no way good news was on the other end.

My brother was calling, one of his life long friends had just been killed in a car wreck.

See, Sam had left his cell phone at Circle S and instead of unlocking it the doors and putting the phone inside, I brought it to Mom's. Mom heard the cell phone go off at 5 and right after is when the home phone rang. Sam and Tommy stopped by to get the phone and they were off to see what really happened.

At that moment, everyone though it was a big mistake. See, in my small town, everyone lived around the same block. So, mom and I get dressed and walk to the Harris', well Barbara and Christy are already gone, so we immediately get in the car to go out to David and Tiffany's to see what has happened.

While we're all thinking it's a bad dream and at any moment, we're going to wake up, we get to Tiffany's and find that it's true. David had been killed. It's still so surreal and at this moment in time, I am still totally numb.

Mom isn't taking it well. She's known "Little" David since he was 7 and the boys started playing baseball together. My Brother and Tommy are trying to hold it together, barely... My heart is broken because there is nothing I can do.

The boys are all thinking the same thing... "Why? How? How do you tell these 3 little boys that their daddy isn't coming home?" As fathers themselves, they have the chore of going home and telling their children that Lance, Luke and Landon's dad won't be around anymore. They boys are close, but their children are little, tiny versions of Sam, Tommy, Trey, and David. It's like watching my childhood all over again.

As we all gathered this morning, we witnessed a beautiful sunrise over the top of the hill. It was breath-taking. I don't know that I have ever seen a more solemn and beautiful moment in time.

As Christy said, we know God has a plan for each of us, but he was only 36. He has 3 little boys, tell me how this plan is supposed to be okay?

I love my husband, I've told you all that before. It's been a tough year for my family and friends, heart surgery, a death from the war, Dad's heart attack, Helen's death, and now this. Every single time, my husband stood beside me and held me, gave me a shoulder to cry on, and told me whatever I wanted to do is what we would do.

He told me on the way home today that he told Tommy, he's never seen anything like it. How this circle of friends, aren't friends at all, but they are a family. Even Tiffany's mom said she has never seen anything like the scene this morning. Calls started going out at 5 and by 6 people were standing out in the cold, on the hill with Tiffany. We didn't go in the house because the boys had slept in the living room and we didn't want to wake them.

What hurts even more is knowing that this isn't the first time these same boys have dealt with this type of tragedy. In 2001, their close friend and classmate Chad was killed in an auto accident in Arkansas. Life is so unfair. There are no guaranties.

You never know what God's plan is. How could we have ever known after seeing David last night, that we'd never see him again?

Life can be way too short, cherish each and every moment you have with your friends and loved ones. Never take anything for granted. Again, I sign off telling each and every one of you how much you mean to me. I love you all dearly.

Shelly

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!!

It's been a while since my last post, but today is a special day... When everyone else is celebrating with flowers and candy, I am wondering what my Daddy needs for his 60th birthday.

Yep, he's 60 today! I don't know where to start. I just called him to wish him a happy day, and I hung up the phone and cried. I still do that every once in a while.

It's been 1 week shy of 5 months since the heart attack, and he seems to be doing better than ever. He's working right now, so it keeps him busy.

We had an awesome New Year's. After the long day on New Year's Eve, we were finally able to set sail for our Family Vacation. Dave, Sam, Trenton and Misty went down about 10-10:30. That left Dad, Mom, Presley and me to ring in the New Year. I would not have traded that moment for anything in the world.

As most of you know, NYE has always been my favorite day of the year. It is the one day of the year that, as the clock strikes midnight, you can take everything that has happened in the last 365 days and step into a new year, vowing to make the next 365 that much better.

As the clock struck midnight, I was sitting on the Lido deck with Dad, Mom and Presley, the music started playing and I started crying. I thought about how extremely lucky I was that we were sharing that moment in time. I was thinking about how I wanted to erase the last year and just start this new year, new decade and make it the best one ever.

It's been good so far.

I got beautiful flowers for Valentine's from my beautiful Hubby! Today, not only do I celebrate my love for him, I think about how lucky I am that he married me. Through all that happened last year, he was always right by my side, holding my hand, lending a shoulder and reminding me how much I was loved. God Bless Him and God Bless each of you.

Happy Valentine's Day......