Three Weeks

Wow, three weeks ago I sat here and talked about the single most horrible day I had experienced. Things change so fast. Dad is slowly getting better. He doesn't feel bad, he just gets real tired, real easily.

He had to wear a monitor last week for 48 hours. They go in tomorrow to see what that said. He's bored, he's restless, he's wanting to have more energy. I can't blame him. This is a man who is always fixing something. He's ticked because his yard looks bad and he can't fix it. He shouldn't be too upset, mine looks bad too, but we can't fix it due to the lack of a dry day.

He's going to Washington DC with Dave and me next week. I'll be working, they will be playing. I am sure this is what he needs - A change of scenery, something to do rather than sit at home all day and look at 4 walls. Dave knows when Dad gets tired, they go rest. Mom says I'll be watching him like a hawk, but I bet Dave watches even closer.

I am hoping Mom will enjoy her trip too. Afterall, it's not everyday you get to cruise off to the Bahamas with no spouse or children! She needs this break, more than she even realizes. She's been holding it all together and it's time for her to let loose. I'll take care of Dad, it'll all be okay.

I've finally started being able to rest at night. I still wake up about 2:15 every morning, and just stare at the clock. I still get scared to take anything to help me sleep, because what if that phone rings and I can't hear it. Everyone says that that will change in time, but I don't know when. I still call my Dad every Monday morning to see where he is. Actually, I call EVERY morning to see where he is.

I've realize through this ordeal, people on the outside don't really understand why I can't get over it. However, friends who have been through similar situations, understand and tell me that it's all on my own time. No, this isn't about me, but in a small way it is. If you've been here, you understand the constant fear... the phone ringing and seeing Mom's number, thinking "Oh, I hope everything is okay," waking up in the middle of the night wanting to call to check on everyone, feeling the need to call home every single day to hear my Dad's voice on that phone.

I am sure Dad sees my number and knows it's just a check up call, but he doesn't know how much that means to me.

Enough rambling - I am so grateful to all of my friends who have been with me through all of this. You don't how much I appreciate you.

I've got to start thinking about packing... I need a manicure... haircut... and I need to read the program for the conference so I know what is going on next week!