I have struggled since Saturday night to find the words to express how I feel. I (as well as so many of you) kept saying - "there are no words." A couple of things have happened since then.
I received an e-mail from an old high school acquaintance wanting to know if there was anything she could do for the Balchs. It seems that her brother and Wendy were high school friends and she lost her brother suddenly a few years back. Shonda simply said that even if you think you're doing nothing, the prayers help get a family through tough times.
Last week I had posted a status on Facebook that just said "Good things come to those who wait..." These are good people. Tammy's FB profile quote is about how good her life is. She wasn't waiting on anything, she was living it here and now.
You grow up with your parents telling you that bad things happen to bad people, that is why we're supposed to be good, right? Mom posted something on her Facebook page last night that made me sit back and cry. She talked about how Sam, Bryan, Tommy and Corby are being strong, but how hard this must be on them. You think?? I mean they just buried a dear friend in March and now this. I keep hearing that "God gives you no more than you can handle," but what does he expect of these boys. They are still babies for Heaven's sake. And I promise you NOT ONE OF THEM has done anything in their life to derserve the trials and tribulations they've had to endure.
I think of Wendy right now. I know that her family is much like mine. I know how close she and her brother are. My heart is breaking for her. I could not imagine for one minute being in her shoes. Although, they say you don't know how strong you are until that one moment in time, if this was Sam, you'd probably have to put a straight jacket on me. I do know that she has to be strong for Tank and Kathy. I remember when Dad had his heart attack, I was tough around Mom and would fall apart when she wasn't around. So, yes, I know it can be done, it just isn't fair to ask that of anyone.
Tammy has to be the bravest woman I know right now. Her strength will transpire into Eric and they will make it through ths dark time.
Why do bad things happen to good people? We will never know that answer. All we know is that they do. They happen to good people and to good communities. I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am so proud to be from Cameron and to call that community home.
The town that was beginning to heal from earilier tragedies seems to be broken again. I know in my heart, it's a temporary break, maybe a crack... I know that God has a plan, I know that this too shall pass. I know all of those things, but it doesn't mean I undertand any of them. I don't try to understand anymore. That may sound bad, but it isn't meant to be.
During a sermon once, Msgr. John to the congregation that you just can't question God's plan. The Lord knows what he is doing and while we may not understand it while we are here on Earth, we will understand once we move on to the next journey in our lives.
This is one of my favorites...
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
May the Lord continue to carry us all through this unexplainable tragedy. May the community hold strong and pull together again for this wonderful family. God Bless you all.
Shelly
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