If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

After all my writing lately, someone sent this to me today.... WOW.... Yes, I cried..

"If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see ,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
The way you did today.
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand.
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.

She said my place was ready,
In heaven far above.

And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do..
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you..

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad.
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had..

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while.
I'd say good-bye and kiss you,
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be.
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow.
I thought of you and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow..

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home..
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last.
And since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart."

Tomorrow will be one year...

Wow, it's been a year since that 5:45 am phone call about Dad. I been thininkg alot about it lately. I am sure it's because of the "anniversay" date, but that's just me. Some things you never forget, as much as you'd like to try, you just don't. I remember everything about it. The call, the weather, the trip to Temple, the waiting and then more waiting.

I know Dad is better and he's as active as he's always been, but it doesn't make that scared feeling ever go away. I've tried to get over it, but it's not my nature. I still don't sleep well, afraid the phone may ring and I won't hear it. Or maybe it's just the general fear of any phone call in the middle of the night.

Something happenened this weekend that made me stop and think about how precious life is. The West-Orange Stark 17-yr old quarterback who collapsed and died after throwing a touchdown pass Friday night, I can't imagine the loss that town must feel. I think about how he had this awesome, defining moment, and then, in an instant, it was his time to go.

You just never know. And as unfair as it may seem, and as much as we don't want to hear it, you always hear, "God has a plan." He does, I know, but I am a planner and I don't like not knowing where I may fit into this overall, master plan.

Presley called me Saturday morning (without her mom knowing) and asked if she could come spend the night. Well, of course I said yes, not knowing that her mom was unaware of her plans. I started thinking when we left them on Sunday that one day, I will just be the "old fogey aunt" that they go see to get birthday and Christmas presents. I am hoping that won't be the case, and I am in no way saying I ever felt that way about my aunts and uncles, but come on....at some point, we all thought, "really mom, do we have to go with you?"

I've decided to embrace every moment with family and friends. We just never know what that master plan may be, but if we live every day to it's fullest potential, we will leave this world with no regrets.

I am so lucky to still have my Dad, I honestly can't tell you how scary those few days were. Some of you have been in those shoes, and for those of you who haven't, my wish is that you never have to find out what it's like. The one thing I know is that at that moment when you aren't quite sure what your next move will be, your friends are at your side, lifting you up and taking care of those things in your life that all of a sudden are totally insignificant.

I thank God each and every day for the support system I've found in my extended family and friends. I don't know what I would do without you!

Hometown Healing

It's been almost 2 months since Eric's accident and Sunday the small community of Cameron came together as one to host a benefit for the family. For me personally, the best part of the entire benefit was getting to see Eric and Tammy out and about. He looks so good considering what he has been through.

We will continue to pray that God's will watch over the family and guide them through the physical and mental healing process.

I posted a status Sunday morning on Facebook about how proud I was to be from Cameron and that no matter where you go, there is nothing in the world like the closeness of Small Town America. I honestly think I've said in my blog a few times.

The number of people who came together to pull of the benefit was astounding. Everyone worked so hard, countless hours to get everything in order. As Mom said in her brief, and yes, emotional speech, you can't thank everyone by name, because you're going to miss someone. It was a true community effort, and it's one day I will never forget.

On a much more personal note, I do want to personally and publicly thank my husband. In our 6 short years of marriage (yeah, 6 - seems like yesterday), he has been by my side through many a rough patch. Whether it was a sickness, a birth, a death in the family or close family friend, or coming up on the one year mark of Dad's heart attack, Dave has been there for me, my family and my friends. Yes, it is his family too, but I honestly don't know what I would do without this man. He is my rock when I feel I could blow away, and he is my water when I feel I am on fire.

My wish for each of you is that you one day find that rock and that water, because it's the most wonderful thing life has to offer.

shelly